


Regret

by DocMcRegals



Series: Fighting Our Way [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Family Drama, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 11:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DocMcRegals/pseuds/DocMcRegals
Summary: Derek Shepherd has his dream job as Chief of Surgery, but it's not as easy as it seems. He's struggling to juggle everything-being post-it married to Meredith, shifting from doing surgery to paperwork, as well as an irate Gary Clarke. Perhaps the biggest struggle is trying to make time for his children. What happens when Derek's emotions get the best of him and he lashes out at 15-year-old Carson? Season 6 AU Canon Divergent; Part one of the Fighting Our Way series. Largely MerDer but will turn into slow-burn Addek. Angst, lots and lots of angst. Beware of dark and mature themes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> So this is a repost of a series I wrote all the way back in 2013 that's been posted and reposted like five thousand times since then. The entire series can be found over on FFN under my same pen name. I'm posting it here with some minor changes and alterations. This is part one of a four-part series which follows Addison, Derek and their two kids Carson and Ryan. To give a bit of context, this story is largely Grey's Anatomy but will feature Private Practice characters. Most of the canon events of Grey's Anatomy (and some of the Private Practice verse) still occur. However, some things date back Pre Grey's, during their time in New York. According to the Grey's canon, Addison and Derek met in med school; however as noted in Private Practice, Addison finished med school in three-and-a-half years. Addison and Derek married in 1994 and their daughter Carson Danielle Forbes Montgomery Shepherd was born in December of that year. In mid-2000 they had a second child, a baby boy named Ryan. The first installment takes place around the time of Season 6 of Grey's Anatomy, a few weeks before the hospital shooting. Carson is 15 and Ryan nine, almost ten. It's quite the angsty fic, so be prepared for lots of hurt feelings. Also, I should mention that in this fic we're gonna see quite of bit of romantic Meredith and Derek; Addek won't be happening for a while. It's a slow burn, everything about this story is a slow burn. As I said, you can find the unedited version of this entire series over on FFN.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> Xx

_“It’s a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful and put on a happy face. As adults, we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It’s in these moments when you just want to get real, to drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self. Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple-to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get, to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead, we just keep smiling-trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were. Until eventually, it hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the unknown, the comfortable, the familiar,”-_ **Meredith Grey**

oOoOoOo

Carson hated the rain; it was a symbol of nothing but bad fortunes. Whenever it rained she could easily be found curled up on a sofa or snuggled under a blanket with a good book. However, on this particular day, she was stuck at the hospital waiting for her father to finish his meetings.

“I fucking hate this place,” she murmured to herself, causing her Nine-year-old brother Ryan to look up from his video game.

“Oh don’t look at me like that Ry, this place is terrible!” Carson said as Ryan looked at her sheepishly.

“ _Actually_ …” Carson sighed, turning her attention back towards the rain.

“Don’t finish that sentence because something tells me you like Seattle more than I do,” Carson sighed as she watched the busy cars from the freeway pass the hospital.

She used to love hospitals when she was a little girl, back when things were so simple. Now, she hated them; to Carson, hospitals ruined her family. Ironically, she still wanted to be a doctor just like her parents. She looked down at her phone and sighed; no signal, _again_. She really wanted to talk to her mom, particularly to give her a piece of her mind.

Sure, she understood that she and Ryan were required to spend time with their dad but, what was the actual point of visiting Seattle when they saw more of his girlfriend Meredith than they did of him? Meredith Grey was the _last_ person Carson wanted to see, especially since it was Meredith that caused her father to stop caring about their family. Okay. so, that wasn’t entirely true, but it was Meredith that caused her mother to leave Seattle for Los Angeles. Okay, that’s not particularly true either but, Meredith Grey and her stupid panties were the ultimate reason her family was no longer together.

Carson’s eyes were trained on the rain, lighting up when a patch of lightning began to move across the sky. She may have associated the rain with bad things, but she couldn’t resist watching it. It brought her a strange sense of comfort; however this time, the rain was unable to help her simmering anger or her growling stomach.

“That’s it, I can’t take this anymore,” she muttered before she stood up, turning her attention to her little brother.

“Stay here, I’m gonna try and go find dad,” Ryan gave her a simple shrug before his eyes were glued to the screen of his video game.

oOoOo

Carson knew the hospital like the back of her hand; she knew were all of the offices were, where the OR’s were located, the attending’s lounge, the conference rooms. She knew what department resided on which floor. She even knew about all of the secret intern and resident hangouts. She’d practically grown up in the hospital over the last six years; she’d be an idiot not to know where everything was. As she walked down the hall in search of her father, she gave the nurses and attendings warm smiles.

Of course, she knew that their smiles were fake seeing as everyone at Seattle Grace Hospital hated her mother. Well, that’s not exactly true, but her father was definitely more popular than her mother was. Once she made it to the surgical floor she stopped as she scanned floor to see if she could spot her father. As usual, Derek Shepherd was nowhere to be found.

“Goddammit,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair as she spoke loud enough to garner people’s attention.

“Has anyone seen my dad? He was supposed to take us to dinner 30 minutes ago!”  The longer she waited, the more she became increasingly annoyed, especially when no one seemed to know her father’s whereabouts.

“Derek Christopher Shepherd, chief of surgery, about this tall, great hair, they call him McDreamy, anyone seen him? Anyone? Ugh! I’m starving! He’s probably in some stupid board meeting or something…I hate him being chief,” she grumbled before stalking off towards the attending’s lounge in search of one of the few people who might know where her father could possibly be hiding.

oOoOo

“So, how are you enjoying having Little Shepherd and baby McDreamy staying with you?” Cristina Yang asked her best friend as the two of them, along with Alex Karev and Lexie Grey sat in the resident’s lounge.

“Ryan’s a great kid; he never gives Derek any trouble, but Carson…” Meredith sighed heavily. She wasn’t cut out for this stepmom stuff. Stepmom wasn’t a term she was particularly comfortable with and Carson sure as hell wasn’t comfortable with her using it either.

“She’s 15 and she’s stuck in Seattle; I’d be a bitch too if I were in her shoes. From what I hear, her life in LA is pretty great,” Alex said.

“I happen to live with the girl and she’s so…vapid and shallow,”  Lexie griped.

 “She’s 15 Lex; she and Derek don’t exactly have the best relationship,” Meredith argued.

“Little Shep’s old enough to know what happened between her parents which is why she took Addison’s side in the divorce,” Alex Karev said with a shrug before leaning forward to grab a slice of pizza.

“I beg to differ; Baby McDreamy didn’t take sides,” Cristina pointed out.

“Cristina’s got a point, Alex,” Lexie said

“The kid’s barely ten; he wasn't even alive when all of the crap when down. Besides, all he does is play video games like any other kid his age,” Alex reminded them.

“What are you people doing sitting around like there aren’t trauma’s happening in this hospital?” Dr. Bailey stood at the door of the resident’s lounge giving her interns a ferocious scowl as they all hurried to find something to do.

oOoOo

Mark Sloan and Callie Torres were laughing quietly as they walked down the hallway, following their perspective surgeries.

“Hey, isn’t that Carson?” Callie said pointing to the young woman looking around.

“Yeah, she’s probably looking for Derek,” Mark muttered just as he locked eyes with Carson who instantly grinned at him.

“Uncle Mark!” she said in a sing-song voice as she walked up to her father’s best friend, flashing him her sweetest smile she could

“Oh God…she’s about to do it,” Mark said as Callie looked at him in confusion.

“Do what?”

“She wants something; she’s about to play her best goddaughter card to get something. She knows I can’t resist her face. I mean she looks _exactly_ like Addison, and she knows I _can’t_ say no to Addison.”

“Oh, you are whipped,” Callie teased just as Carson walked up to them.

“Hey Uncle Mark; oh, hey Callie,”

“Hey Carson, how’s it going? How’s your mom doing?” Callie asked as Carson smiled at her; she always liked Dr. Torres.

“She’s doing good; hey Uncle Mark,” Carson said, wrapping her arms around his neck

“Hey,” Mark tried not to look at her, lest she talk him into whatever scheme she was about to get into.

“How much do you love your favorite Goddaughter in the whole wide world?”

“You’re my only goddaughter…” Mark said with a sigh.

“That’s beside the point Uncle Mark,” Carson said, batting her eyelashes at him.

“Alright, what do you want Carson?” Mark sighed; there was no way he was getting out of this one.

“I need to use your car,”

“I'm sorry, you wanna use my _what!_? Are you insane?!”

“Aw come on Uncle Mark! I have my learner’s permit!” Carson said as Mark eyed her skeptically.

“Addison’s letting _you_ drive _?_ As bad as _she_ drives she’s letting _you_ drive?”

“Funny…but we both know that mom and dad have agreed on a getting me a  BMW once I get my license,”

“Yeah, in six months,” Carson groaned, rolling her eyes.

“C’mon Sloan I’m starving!”

“Yeah? Well, I’ve got surgery in a few,” Carson made a face.

“Liar; you only have post ops and round before your shifts over,” Mark glanced over at Callie who shook her head.

“Don’t mind me; I’m just trying to see how you’re gonna get out of this one,”

“Please Uncle Mark?”

“It’s raining out Carson, and you don’t have your license. I’d really hate for Derek to kill me,” Mark looks nervous but she’s so cute and he can’t resist that face, it’s Addison’s face for crying out loud!

 “Alright fine! Geez!”

“Thank you, Uncle Mark! I’ll be really careful I promise,”

“Oh, you’re not driving my car alone,” Carson’s face fell.

“Wha-“

“Jackson Avery rides with you and you come straight back here,” Mark’s voice is stern but Carson doesn’t care. She wraps her arms around his neck, nearly choking him to death.

“I’m gonna go find Jackson right now; I should be back in an hour,” Carson says with a devious grin.

“Try fifteen minutes,”

“What!? But-“

“Fifteen minutes Carson,”

“But the closest thing to here is-“

“There’s a Japanese takeout place over on Eighth…here, tell them Dr. Sloan sent you,” Mark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few crisp twenty’s from his wallet and hands them to her.

“You’re being unreasonable,” Carson mutters.

“Oh come on, you like Japanese food! We’ve had dinner there dozens of times,” Carson sighs but relents.

“Fine, I’ll be back in fifteen; I’m assuming with all the cash you gave me I’m picking up food for you too?”

“Yup; ask for Aika, tell her I want the usual,” Caron rolls her eyes once more before stalking off to find Jackson Avery.

“Wow Mark, impressive; you didn’t cave and let her go on her own like I thought you would,” Mark grins.

“See Torres, _not a pushover_ ,”

“Yeah, but 20 bucks still says she manages to wreck your car,” Callie smirks.

“50 bucks says Derek finds out what I did and kills me,” Mark mutters, watching as his goddaughter made her way outside to his car with Jackson Avery who looked less than thrilled to be going on this little excursion.

oOoOo

Derek walked down the hallway and sighed heavily. This, being chief, was something he’d wanted for years. In fact, if he’s honest, its part of what led his marriage to Addison to go sour. Still, though, he loved being chief, even if it was more paperwork than surgery and there were people threatening to sue the hospital. He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he needed to put the worries of Seattle Grace out of his head for a little bit. He needed to shift his focus to his two children…whom he had promised to meet for dinner nearly an hour ago. This was the downside to being chief, they were getting older and the age old excuse of ‘daddy had to work’ just didn’t cut it anymore, especially for Carson. Spending time with them was already difficult, especially with Addison uprooting them to Los Angeles of all places. He’d wanted her to stay but he knew with the way things ended that her leaving was best; even if it did take his kids 18 hours away from him.

Derek took another deep breath and opened the door to his office. He was finally ready to go home and spend some true quality time with his children. Maybe this weekend he could take them on a Ferryboat ride. Perhaps he could show them the land he’s been thinking of building a house on. Sure, he’d had the land while he was married to Addison but the only thing that existed on it at the time was his trailer. And after the divorce, he’d moved in with Meredith. Still, Meredith’s house was like a frat house and he knew Carson hated being there. So, he and Meredith talked it over and soon enough, the McDream house she’d built him out of candles a few years ago would finally become a thing.

When he walked into his office he smiled, though his smile faltered when he saw his two children sitting on the sofa eating Japanese food.

“What’s all this? I thought we were supposed to be going out to dinner?” Derek said, dropping his suitcase near the door as he ruffled his son’s hair.

“We got tired of waiting so I used Uncle Mark’s car to-“ Carson began as Derek frowned.

“You used Mark’s car?” Derek asked as Carson nodded.

“Technically, I had a licensed driver in the car, but yes, I drove,” Carson shrugged.

“So Mark took you?”

“No, he made Jackson Avery do it,” Derek rolled his eyes.

“Jackson Avery is a resident, not Mark’s little errand boy,”

“Dad, relax it was no big deal,”

“Carson, it _is_ a big deal; this is Seattle and the weather is dangerous.  You could’ve been hurt or killed,” Derek scolded.

“Relax dad, its fine; Ryan and I got dinner, you got to finish doing…whatever it is you were doing. Problem solved,” Derek sighed heavily as he stood in front of his daughter, clearly upset with her behavior.

“It’s not okay Carson and Mark should know better than to-“

“Don’t be so hard on Uncle Mark dad,”

“Fine, then I’ll be hard on you; you’re grounded, one week,” Derek said as Carson’s eyes widened.

“ _What_?! You’re grounding me because I went and got food?! That’s such _bull_ -“

“ _Do_ **not** _finish that sentence young lady_. I’m grounding you because you didn’t listen to me. Carson, I understand that you’re 15 and you wanna drive but this isn’t Los Angeles. Seattle is dangerous and I’m pretty sure you used your charm to manipulate Mark into letting you drive his car,”

“So basically I’m grounded because I didn’t wanna starve while waiting around for you to get done? Nice dad, _real nice_ ,” Carson snapped as Derek sighed, holding out his hand for her cell phone.

“No way! I am _not_ giving up my cell phone!” Carson shouted.

“Carson, cell phone, now,” Derek demanded, but Carson still refused.

“No! You don’t pay the bill mom does!”

“Carson I don’t have time for this; grounded means no cell phone, or TV, or computer. It means you either sit at my house all day doing nothing or you sit here in the conference room all day doing nothing,” Derek said as Carson huffed, handing over her cell phone.

“Fine, being here with you is punishment enough anyways,” the teenager muttered just as Meredith gently knocked on the door.

“Everything okay in here?” Meredith could feel the tension in the room, and if the scowl on Carson’s face didn’t say enough,  whatever was going on was pretty heated.

“Everything’s fine; Meredith, can you drop Carson off at home for me?” Derek asked, unsurprised with Carson began to protest.

“I’m not going _anywhere_ with her…I don’t have to listen to her, she’s not my mother and she _certainly_ isn’t your wife…you guys got married on a _post-it_ , that doesn’t count,”

“Carson, enough; no matter how you feel about Meredith you will respect her, is that understood?”

“She’s _not_ my mother,” Carson frowned, her hands folded over her chest in defiance.

“I didn’t say she was,” Derek is trying to keep his voice even; he shoots Meredith an apologetic look. Carson begrudgingly grabbed her things and prepared to leave.

“I’ll see you at home,” Carson rolls her eyes in response.

“Whatever,”

“Carson-“

“Leave me alone! I’m going home with her, okay? You have my cell phone and I’m grounded, what more do you want from me?”

“Carson, I don’t-“ Derek began as his daughter finally lost her cool.

“What, _I don’t have time for this Carson_? Oh, _I know_! _You have to go to_ **work** _or do a_ **surgery** , _or you have a_ **meeting to go to** …I’ve heard it all before dad; nothing I can’t handle,” Derek doesn’t miss the hint of disappointment in his daughter’s voice. He sighs heavily and reaches out to her.

“Carson-“

“Whatever; just leave me alone dad,” Carson sighed as she motioned for her younger brother to follow.

“Carson, don’t walk away from me,” Derek said as he followed his daughter into the hallway.

“ _What the hell do you want from me_?!” Carson shouted as she stopped on the middle of the catwalk.

“Watch your language!” Derek shouted back as Carson glared at him.

“Look, you’re sending me home so I’m going, are you happy now?”

“My patience is wearing very thin; I don’t know how much more of your back talk I can take. We’ll talk more when I get there,”

“No, we won’t because I’m _done_ talking to you Derek,” Carson said, still ignoring her father as she continued to make her way towards the elevators.

“ _Whoa, since when did I become Derek_?”

“Since you started acting like an asshole,” Carson muttered.

“I’m sorry what did you just say?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

“Nothing; _fine_ , whatever you say, _Dr. Shepherd,_ ”

“ _Dr. Shepherd_? Oh, so now I’m _Dr. Shepherd_ ,” Derek is standing in the elevator doors shaking his head. He doesn’t know what the hell happened or why it’s even happening.

“Yup, because you’re sure as hell not acting like my dad right now,”

“And you’re not acting like the daughter I raised,”

“Technically you didn’t raise me, mom did; you were too busy trying to become chief,” It’s a low blow and she knows it, but it’s also the truth and it stings.

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing, now will you move out of the way please?” Derek shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. There are people staring but he doesn’t care. It’s a low blow but it stings because it’s the truth. He looks into her eyes and for a second, he can see nothing but Addison and years of having these same arguments. Finally, he loses it.

“Y’know what, just go Carson; get the hell out of my sight!”

“Are you serious right now!?” Carson is screaming at him and Meredith is staring at him completely shocked.

“Yes, I’m serious; I don’t have time for this dammit! I have a hospital to run! People’s lives are in danger and I don’t have time for you to be acting like a spoiled brat! I don’t know how Addison is raising you in LA but when you’re here you’re not gonna tell me I’m a terrible parent, because if we’re gonna talk about terrible parents I’m not the one who screwed my best friend and ruined our marriage, your mother did that all by herself,” Derek said, though he regretted the words once they came out of his mouth, especially after seeing the look on Ryan’s face.

“What’s he talking about Carson?” Ryan asked his sister who looked at their father completely horrified.

“Carson-“

“Fuck you!” Carson said, doing her best to hold back tears as she shoved him out of the way. Meredith’s eyes widened in shock; she may not have been a parent, but she knew Derek’s comments were way out of line

“Carson, what did dad mean when he said that mom-“ Ryan protested as his sister snapped at him.

“Let it go, Ryan,”

“But-“

“Will you shut up about it!?”

“Sorry I asked,”

“Carson-“

“I hate you and y’know what…I’m glad she slept with him; you didn’t deserve her,” The last part of her statement comes out in a hateful whisper. He doesn’t get to respond, because the doors to the elevators closed, leaving Derek alone in the middle of the surgical floor remembering the look of hurt on his children’s faces.

_Chapter 2 to follow…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek Shepherd has his dream job as Chief of Surgery, but it's not as easy as it seems. He's struggling to juggle everything-being post-it married to Meredith, shifting from doing surgery to paperwork, as well as an irate Gary Clarke. Perhaps the biggest struggle is trying to make time for his children. What happens when Derek's emotions get the best of him and he lashes out at 15-year-old Carson? Season 6 AU Canon Divergent; Part one of the Fighting Our Way series. Largely MerDer but will turn into slow-burn Addek. Angst, lots and lots of angst. Beware of dark and mature themes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see chapter one for full explanation and summary.

Derek sat in his office with a glass of scotch and sighed heavily. All he could hear were Carson’s words over and over again in his head and the hatred in her eyes.

 **No** , _we won’t because I am_ **done** _talking to you Derek_

 _Fine_ , _whatever you say_ **Dr. Shepherd**

 _Technically you didn’t raise me_ , **mom did** ; _you were too busy_ **trying to become chief**

_Fuck you!_

_I hate you_

_Y’know what? I’m glad she slept with him; you didn’t deserve her_

Her words are like barbs, stinging, truthful barbs. And the more he thinks of her and what she’d said, the more her face morphs into Addison’s.

She really had seen it all, hadn’t she?

Derek puts his scotch glass down on one side of the desk, letting his head fall forward. He takes slow, shallow breaths to try and calm his emotions. He feels a ton of things right now-fury, guilt, anger. But it’s the guilt that eats at him the most, causes him to throw his scotch glass across the room. He simply grabs the bottle from his desk and drinks at will. He shakes his head, his mind replaying her words over and over again like a broken record.

How had hell had his life fallen apart in such a short amount of time?

When he married Addison, he expected it to be forever, hell, he put it in a song. But still, he’d never suspected that she’d sleep with his best friend either. His mind traitorously reminds him of his own transgressions, that Meredith didn’t know he was married with two kids until his wife showed up and told her. He shakes his head as his mind continues to remind him that it had been Carson who’d found Meredith’s panties in his coat pocket the next morning. Maybe some of her anger and annoyance towards Meredith (and him) was warranted. He puts the bottle down and picks up his phone but remembers that he can’t call her; her cell phone was in his pocket. His next instinct is to call Addison, but he knows Addison. She would kill him if she ever found out what he’d said to their daughter. He can’t call anyone. God this is so fucked up. He’d broken the one cardinal rule that the three of them-he, Mark, and Addison had vowed never to break; he’d spoken of their affair. It was bad enough that Carson knew, had become a cruel victim to it, but now Ryan knew.

There was no way Addison would forgive him if she found out. They don’t really speak much these days, save for when she’d brought Archer to Seattle for him to save a few years ago. Sure, they were civil towards one another for the sake of their kids, but there was still tension between them. He thought back to how he’d reacted and sighed heavily. _Was he_ **really** _wrong for how he behaved_? Of course he was; he’d promised to take them for dinner and as usual, he let his job take precedence over his children. But he’d been right to react like he did when he found out she’d been driving in the rain ( _with a licensed driver in the car_ he’s reminded). He was scared for her safety, especially with what was going on with Gary Clarke. Sure, the issues were totally unrelated, but Derek was a worrier. Something about Gary Clarke unnerved him. Plus, he knew just how dangerous it was to drive in Seattle during bad weather. Carson was used to driving in Los Angeles (with Addison in the car), which was considerably safer in terms of weather. However, he could’ve taken a break sooner to go and get his children something to eat. He sighed once more before taking another huge swig of scotch. He looked up at the sound of Richard Webber’s voice.

“If I were you, I’d put the scotch away,” Things are still considerably tense between the two of them. He’d looked up to this man and then had taken his job.

“Richard, I didn’t know you were here,” Derek said quietly.

“I just left a meeting and I got a call from Dr. Bailey,” Derek doesn’t miss the way Richard looks around his office with bittersweet fondness.

“I’m not surprised Bailey called you,” Richard chuckles.

“She actually called to ask my advice about a case…”

“Oh, right,”

“ _Then_ she told me your blow up with Carson earlier,”

“Of course she did,” Derek mutters.

“I may not work here anymore but, I still care about you _and Carson_. I came to see if you were okay,” Richard looked at Derek sympathetically before making his way into his former office.

“She told me she hated me and that she was glad Addison slept with Mark, that I didn’t deserve her,” Richard let out a low whistle.

“That had to have hurt,”

“It did,” Derek takes another deep swig of scotch.

“Bad enough for you to take it out on the wall,” Derek chuckles a bit before respectfully putting away the alcohol.

“Did you ever want kids with Adele?” Derek asked as Richard took a seat across from him.

“ _Adele_ wanted kids; _I_ wanted to be successful, that’s what I wanted. I was a lot like you Derek; I was young, one of the _best in my field_. I felt like I had something to prove because I was a Black man, and at that time I did. _So_ I worked hard, put all of my focus and my energy into work. The only real difference between you and me is that I didn’t have a Mark Sloan in my life. But I _did_ have an Ellis Grey and _man_ was it _tough_ ,”

“Did Adele know?”

“ _Of course she knew_ ; it’s been the sore spot in our marriage for, well, almost as long as Meredith’s been alive,”

“But you’re still together,” Derek tries to think if he and Addison could’ve survived their affairs and stayed married as long as Richard and Adele have. Nope, they would’ve killed one another; he’s lucky she couldn’t take it anymore and filed for divorce after the prom fiasco.

“We are,” Richard nods.

“Do you ever think about what if you-“

“I didn’t plan on falling in love with Meredith’s mother but, the more time you spend with someone, sharing your hopes and dreams and secrets, well…you know how that goes,”

“That wasn’t what happened between me and Meredith,” Derek said defensively.

“No, you were pissed off, left New York, came to Seattle, got drunk in bar, met a cute girl and took her home to help you get over the betrayal of your wife cheating on you with your best friend,” Richard pointed out; it was true, that was how his relationship with Meredith started out.

“She’s like a breath of fresh air for me Richard; I love her,”

“You loved Addison too,”

“Addie was different; we only looked good on paper, that was it,” Richard sighed heavily before he stood up.

“Sometimes Derek, what we want, isn’t always what we need. Instead of fighting for your marriage, you took the easy way out and ran away,”

“I didn’t-“

“Tell me something, when Addison was here, did you _really_ try and work on your marriage because you loved her, or did you stay for the sake of your kids?” Derek sat completely flabbergastered by Richard’s words.

“I-“ Richard smiled knowingly.

“The look of shock on your face tells me all I need to know. The sad part is, you don’t even see how big of a part you played a part in destroying your marriage,” Derek glares at him.

“I’m not the one who destroyed my marriage; she did it when she cheated,”

“I seem to recall a conversation about you being absent and indifferent in New York _long before Mark Sloan happened_ ,”

“I-“

“And I didn’t get that from Addie,”

“Who-“

“Doesn’t matter how I found out. Look, Derek, I’ve known you since you and Addison were sleep deprived interns with a newborn at home. I know you two almost better than you know yourselves. If you’d wanted to try, you would’ve”

“So you’re saying-“

“I’m saying you didn’t try and fight for your marriage and that Carson has a right to be upset with you. Now I’m not excusing what she said or what she did, but  remember, she’s had a front-row seat to the destruction of your marriage, both in New York _and in Seattle_ ,” he doesn’t need to be reminded of the look in Addison’s eyes when she’d told him that Carson had found Meredith’s panties.

“What do I do, Richard? I said things tonight that I…I’m ashamed of myself,” Derek shook his head slowly, willing the tears _not_ to fall.

“Talk to her; _try listening for once_ ,” Derek shook his head as he watched Richard leave his office.

_Chapter 3 to follow…_


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith was in deep shit; it was raining and Carson was nowhere to be found and neither was her car. She paced back and forth in her living room as her friends stood watching; _what was she going to do_? Derek had given her _one_ task; get Carson and Ryan home. That had been her only task and she couldn’t even do that right; somehow Carson had managed to steal her car and her cell phone.

“Derek’s gonna kill me,” Meredith felt a sudden dread in her stomach. He was already on edge, even before he and Carson got into that nasty little argument by the elevators. She could feel the girl’s rage, both their rage. She can only imagine what and how Derek’s going to feel when he realizes that his daughter’s gone missing.

“ _How the hell she manage to slip out of here unnoticed_?” Cristina wondered aloud. Everyone was there; Lexie, Alex, Jackson, April, Cristina. All it took was a simple phone call; Meredith called Cristina, Cristina called Alex, Alex called Lexie and so on. All of the interns were now gathered in Meredith’s kitchen after having searched for the last hour. Ryan was the first to notice she’d gone missing; he’d gone to ask her if she was okay. When he’d come downstairs asking Meredith if she’d seen her, that had been when she noticed her car keys (and her cell phone) were missing.

Meredith was in deep shit.

“She’s Addison’s kid; the woman knows how to make an entrance and an exit,” Alex said with a shrug.

“You seem to know an awful lot about Addison,” Lexie said as Alex rolled his eyes at her. Granted, she wasn’t the biggest Addison fan and with semi-good reason.  She’d slept with Mark when he went to LA a few months back. It didn’t matter that she’d broken up with him first; of all the people in the world, he chose to screw the ‘only other woman he’d loved’. Lexie was not happy about that; she was even less happy to have said woman’s children living with her.

“Hey, she was my mentor before Shepherd ran her off,” Meredith shoots him a look.

“Derek didn’t run her off Alex, she left; she’s the one that filed for divorce,”

“Pretty sure we all know why she did that,” Alex muttered before taking a sip of his beer.

“Why are you here Alex? If you’re just gonna criticize me then-“

“Look, I’m not here to criticize; Carson’s a kid, a stupid 15-year-old kid whose dad said crappy things to her. I know you wanna defend him because he’s your boyfriend, but Shepherd fucked up. I’m here because I’d rather you find Carson than for Derek or Addison for that matter to find out she’s gone,” Meredith took a steady breath; Alex was right, this wasn’t the time for her to get in her feelings. Carson was missing and they needed to find her.

“How the hell did she manage to sneak out of here without me noticing?” Meredith ran a hand across her face as she tried to think.

Three Hours Ago

_The entire car ride home was quiet; Meredith stole glances in the back seat at Ryan. He wore a scowl on his face, probably trying to figure out what Derek meant earlier. She hoped to God he didn’t put two and two together. He looked up to Mark, loved him like a second father. Meredith knew better than anyone what it was like when someone you loved disappointed you. She painfully spared a glance over at the 15-year-old silently crying in her passenger seat. Carson’s face was pressed into the glass, but because of the way the moon shined and the lights from the street, Meredith could see her reflection somewhat. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy; her shoulders shook with silent sobs. Meredith shook her head and kept her focus on the road. She couldn’t help but remember the way Derek had looked at his daughter. The way he’d yelled at her and the way she yelled back. It reminded her of another argument he’d gotten into with a certain redhead he’d been married to at the time._

**I want you to care, Derek!**

_The memory of Derek’s screaming match with Carson as well as his argument with Addison a few years back kept playing in her head. When she came to a red light, she gently reached over and gave the girl’s arm an affectionate rub. Carson glanced back at her and let out a deep breath._

_“You okay?”_

_“What do you care?” Carson rolled her eyes before turning her attention back towards the window._

_Meredith sighed heavily and kept driving. By the time they’d made it back to her place, Carson was the first one to the door. Meredith carefully glanced over at her as she opened the door. She didn’t know what to say because to be honest, Derek’s reaction had surprised her. Carson immediately ran inside and up the staircase; Meredith winced at the way her bedroom door slammed._

_“Is she gonna be okay? I’ve never seen dad yell like that before,” Meredith glanced down at Ryan; he still seemed pretty shaken up about the whole ordeal. At least he was easier to comfort._

_“Your dad’s been under a lot of stress lately with work; he didn’t mean what he said,” She gently reached out and rubbed a hand along his back reassuringly, giving him a tiny smile._

_“Meredith, do you know what my dad meant when he said-“_

_“Your dad was just talking Ryan,” She knew exactly what Derek meant, which was what surprised her the most. It was a low blow, but she can’t say she blames Carson for what she said. Addison had briefly mentioned when they first met that Derek was indifferent in New York and that they’d bothered to stop fighting. She also remembers Addison saying that Derek had been vying for the chief of surgery even back then. Maybe this was what put the strain on their marriage; Meredith briefly wonders how long it’ll take before Derek starts missing important dates for them. She’s cut out of her gloomy thoughts at the sound of Ryan’s voice._

_“Meredith, please don’t lie to me; what was my dad talking about?” She can’t bear to tell him the ugly truth because it’s simply isn’t hers to tell, and she’d rather not have her post-it husband’s son learn that she was essentially the reason their mother packed them up and moved 18 hours away._

_“Ryan…it’s really not my story to tell,” Ryan glared at her and sighed._

_“Nobody ever tells me anything!” With that the young boy raced up the stairs, mimicking his sister’s earlier actions and slamming the door behind him._

_Meredith desperately needed a drink if she were going to be able to withstand two angry children living under her roof. She walked into the kitchen and placed her purse and cell phone down on the counter. She took a second to rest her head against the cool counter. God she hoped Derek would be home soon to sort out this mess. With that, she sat up and headed towards the fridge for a bottle of beer._

oOoOo

“Do you think we should call chief Shepherd?” April asked timidly.

“No!” There was a resounding chorus that shut down her answer rather quickly.

“Guys, we’ve been looking for over an hour and we haven’t found her,”

“Kids run away all the time; I’m sure she just needed to blow off some steam and she’ll be pulling back into Mere’s driveway in no time,” Cristina surprised herself and everyone else at how level headed she sounded.

“Did you find her?” Everyone looks back at the sound of young Ryan Shepherd’s voice. Meredith quickly made her way into the living room to speak to the boy.

“No, sweetie, we haven’t; do you have any idea where she could’ve gone?” Ryan looks up at Meredith with stormy eyes, eyes that remind her of Derek.

“Maybe she tried to go home? Carson thinks she knows everything; maybe she thought she could drive back to LA?” Meredith smiled at him.

“Does your mom let Carson drive Ryan?”

“What!? No! Are you insane!? My mom would never let Carson drive, at least, not without her in the car. Do you think we should call her, my mom I mean?” Meredith cringed. Having Derek know that she’d lost his daughter was bad enough, but having Addison know…Meredith would rather take a scalpel to the eye thank you very much.

“Uh, why don’t you give us time to keep looking? If we can’t find her, then we’ll call your mom. For now, why don’t you go back upstairs and we’ll let you know if we find her, sound good?” Ryan, for the most part, tried to act mature, but with his father’s cruel words and his big sister gone missing, he just looked like a scared nine-year-old boy.

“Please find her Meredith,”

“We will, I promise,” With that Ryan gave her a resolute nod before heading up the stairs.

oOo

“Don’t keep promises you can’t keep Mere; that weather’s like a damn Tsunami out there. She’s 15 with a learner’s permit and she’s pissed off. That doesn’t sound like the makings of getting home safe and sound,” Alex said.

“God, will you shut up with your morbidity? Mere, it’s going to be fine,” Lexie said reassuringly as she placed two hands onto her sister’s shoulders.

“I’ve gotta agree with Alex on this one; I watched her convince _Mark Sloan_ that it’d be a good idea if I rode with her to grab Japanese food, Japanese food, in the middle of a storm!”

“How good of a driver did she seem to be Jackson?” Meredith needed to know, to have some sort of gauge on how far Carson could go without wrecking her car and getting herself killed.

“To be 15, she’s actually pretty good,”

“Wait, you said she convinced Sloan to make you take her for Chinese?” Cristina looked completely amused as Jackson let out a sigh.

“Technically, she drove; I was the designated licensed driver in the car. Who does he think I am? I’m a surgeon, not some damn errand boy,” Jackson Avery was frustrated. He wasn’t the biggest Carson Montgomery fan, not when she’d cost him the opportunity to assist on Teddy Altman’s surgery. Still, he may have been cross with her, but she didn’t deserve to be out there in the rain, and in Meredith’s car of all places. Who the hell lets a 15-year-old go out in this kind of rain?

“Okay so, she drove pretty good in the rain earlier, that’s a good thing, right?” Meredith was still worried; she felt that pool of anxiousness churning in her belly. God, please let Carson be alright.

“I still don’t see how she was able to sneak downstairs, grab your keys and your cell phone without you knowing,” Lexie said.

“I do; when Addison first came to Seattle, Carson somehow managed to hail a taxi to the hospital,” Alex smirked a little when he thought about his first encounter with the young girl.

_Five Years Ago_

_She missed her dad, a_ **lot** _. He’s been gone for weeks now and her mother won’t tell her anything except that he was away on business. Sure, when she’s at Grandma Carolyn’s house he calls, but the calls are always really brief, always ending with him telling her that his leaving wasn't her fault, even though she felt like it was. She’s not stupid; she paid close attention to her parent's marriage. She noticed how her father barely came home, how her mother would go to bed crying some nights and the yelling, there was always yelling, especially when they thought she and Ryan had gone to bed._

_Carson especially noticed how much time her Uncle Mark had started spending at their house over the last few months. Once, when he picked her up from one of her many,_ **many** _after-school practices, a kid asked her if he was her mother's boyfriend. It sort of felt that way, especially after she had seen her mother and Uncle Mark kiss. Maybe daddy had found out about their kiss and that was why he had left? If she were honest, maybe if her father had come home more often her mother wouldn't have had kiss Uncle Mark so much._

_Carson also didn't fail to miss the fact that Uncle Mark became even more of a permanent fixture around the house since her father had disappeared off to…wherever he is. She also wasn't clueless to the fact that Uncle Mark had been sleeping in her parent's room with her mother. She knew what sex was and she was pretty sure they were doing it. Uncle Mark had to be having sex with her mother. They slept in the same bed, they kissed each other, they fought like a couple. They were most definitely having sex, they had to be! Carson got her answer one morning when she’d went to ask her mom a question and heard her moaning the way she would sometimes daddy was home._

_But then something was wrong; they seemed to argue more. Then there was the time her mother was sick and didn’t go to work. That was odd, seeing as her mother never_ **got** _sick. Then, there was the fight her mother and Uncle Mark had a couple days later, which resulted in Uncle Mark leaving and her mother going to the doctor the next day. Uncle Mark hasn’t been back since then. Something was very wrong, but none of the adults would tell her. Whatever it was her father was no longer around and neither was Uncle Mark. It was just the three of them-she, her mother, and Ryan. It didn’t feel right; her family deserved to be together; yes, even Uncle Mark._

_The weeks pass by and her father still hasn’t returned; Uncle Mark doesn’t come by, nor does he pick her up from practice. Her mother’s been tight-lipped about everything these days. Carson finds it to be really annoying. However, life works in mysterious ways, because a week after pestering her mother about the whereabouts of her both her father and her godfather, Richard Webber, or ‘Grandpa Richard’ as she called him, had called her mother saying that he needed her to come to Seattle to consult on a case involving conjoined twins. It was then that she learned her father was in Seattle._

_Her mother was reluctant to take her (she did have school after all), but after some begging, Addison had_ **finally** _agreed that she and Ryan could come. But once her case was over they were going_ **straight back to New York** _. Of course, something told her that her father wouldn’t be coming back with them after her mother avoided the question for a week straight. Still, she was excited about going to Seattle to visit her father; even though she didn't like that he just suddenly up and left, she missed him terribly._

_oOoOo_

_When they arrived in Seattle, Addison made sure that Iliana, the nanny, got the children settled in before she headed for the hospital. They're in his city, Addison knows and Richard just had surgery. She needs to see him first, get her hospital clearance;_ **then** _she’ll deal with Derek. Of course, Carson is less than happy to be stuck in the hotel room with her brother and her nanny but, this isn’t a meeting she needs her ten-year-old to be a witness to._

_"Aw, mom! Can't I come with you? I wanna see daddy!" Carson whined; she’s in her pajamas while Ryan sat watching a movie. Addison leaned forward and pressed a kiss to both their heads._

_"No honey, it's late and daddy's probably working, you'll see him tomorrow I promise" Addison relays to Iliana that she’ll be back pretty late and that the children will more than likely be asleep when she returns. She’s dressed perfectly; her hair is done, her makeup is flawless. She’s in all black, designer of course. If she’s going to be meeting Derek’s mistress then she’d better well look the part._

_“I’ll be back soon guys, I love you,” Addison chuckled at the groan of frustration Carson let out as she closed the door behind her._

_oOo_

_Carson_ **desperately** _wanted to see her father. She knew that her father wanted to see her, had told her so over the phone just days ago._ **So why wasn’t her mother letting her see him** _!? She flopped back on the pillows of her queen-sized guest bed and sighed. She needed a plan and she needed one fast. Suddenly, it came to her; she knew just how she was going to see her father._

_After getting her bath, she told Iliana that she was tired and was going to bed early. Once Iliana had taken Ryan into the bathroom to give him a bath, Carson crept out of bed and went into Iliana's purse and took 50 dollars and crept out the door. Once she got outside, she was instantly able to hail a cab (thanks to Mark, who had taught her two years earlier). The people in the Archfield are entirely too busy to notice a ten-year-old roaming the halls. And in the event someone does ask, she comes up with a crafty lie which they almost always believe. By the time she makes it out of the lobby and out onto the streets, the wind has picked up significantly. Luckily, her mother made sure to pack her warm clothes. Carson is wearing a pair of jeans, her favorite pair of Uggs, a gray cashmere sweater, her dark peacoat and her Burberry scarf._

_It takes her a minute to spot a cab, but she finally finds one. The driver looks skeptical as he pulls over, allowing her to climb in._

_"Hey kid, where are your parents?" the driver asked cautiously._

_"Can you take me to Seattle Grace Hospital, please?" she said flashing him her sweetest smile._

_"You got money?"_

_"Will 50 bucks cover it?" The driver quickly took the money and drove straight to the hospital._

_The trip was quick and quiet; she thanked him once they pulled up in front of the hospital. The wind had gotten significantly chillier since she’d left the hotel; she shoved her hands deeper into her coat pockets, wishing she’d grabbed her gloves or at least a hat now that there was a slight mist of rain coming down. Carson stood outside of the hospital for a split second before entering; her daddy was in there somewhere and she **had** to see him. _

_She stood still for a moment, looking for the elevators before spotting a nurse and asking her. The nurse, Olivia was more than happy to show her to the elevators, especially after Carson gave her a sad story about having a parent in surgery and getting lost coming from the cafeteria; nurses were always so dumb she thought to herself once Olivia was gone._

_She soon found herself in an elevator with a tall blonde woman in light blue scrubs. It was safe to assume that she was a doctor, the nametag she wore was even more of a dead giveaway; surgical intern. Perfect, this woman was an intern, which meant she_ **had** _to be going up to the surgical floor._

_"Hi," Carson said smiling up at her, the young woman jumped slightly but smiled back at her._

_"Oh, hi," The young woman replied._

_"My name's Carson what's yours?"_

_"I'm Dr. Stevens, but you can call me Izzie,”_

_“It’s nice to meet you Izzie,”_

_“It's nice to meet you too Carson…are you lost?"_

_"Yeah, I can't find my parents," Carson said innocently as the elevator doors dinged._

_“Are your parents up on the surgical floor?” Izzie asked._

_“Yeah, my uh…my dad had surgery and I may have wandered off to the cafeteria without him knowing,” Carson put on her best guilty face as Izzie smiled and agreed to help her search for her father._

_“Do you know what kind of surgery he had to have?”_

_“Brain surgery, I think his doctor’s name was Dr. Shepherd?” Carson’s voice was hopeful as Izzie paused for a moment, but before she could respond her pager went off._

_"Oh darn it! I've gotta go, I could have someone else help you look?" Izzie was really nice and Carson hated lying to her but still she lied anyway._

_"No, I think I’ll be okay,”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Positive; thank you Izzie!” Izzie smiled back at her, making her promise to page her if she needed her. After Izzie walked away, Carson stood in the middle of the busy hallway, looking for someone who might have a clue as to where her parents would be before spotting a brown-haired looking doctor. She’d saw Izzie speak quietly to him before heading down the hall. He had to be a surgeon too; he was wearing the same scrubs as Izzie. Once she was sure Izzie was gone she made her way over to him._

_"Excuse me," Carson said sweetly to the young man who remained working on his charts._

_"Excuse me," Carson said again, tapping him in the shoulder._

_"_ **What do you want** _? I'm busy," he said snapping at her._

_"Gosh, to be a doctor, you're pretty rude," Carson said rolling her eyes._

_"Who are you and what do you want?”_

_"I'm Carson,”_

_"I'm Alex,”_

_“Nice to meet you,” Carson stuck out a hand for him to shake, though he didn’t take it._

_“You’re a little young to be on this floor; where are your parents?"_

_“I can't find them; my dad’s having surgery,”_

_“What kind of surgery?”_

_“Brain; his doctor’s name is Dr. Shepherd, Dr._ **Derek Shepherd** _,” Alex frowned before leading the girl up to Neuro; however, when Carson spotted Derek walking down the hall, she quickly hid behind Alex._

_“What’s-“_

_“Shh; I see my dad and he looks mad,” Alex looked around, but the only person he saw on the floor was Dr. Shepherd._

_“I don’t, hey, where’d she go?” Alex frowned; Carson had disappeared._

_“Whatever,” Alex shrugged his shoulders and went back to doing his charts._

_Two Hours Later_

_After her altercation with Derek and talking to the chief, Addison prepared to go back to her hotel. Just as she was leaving, she got a call from Iliana saying that Carson had gone missing. It took her a while but she found him on the surgical floor quietly talking to Preston Burke._

_"I thought you were going back to your hotel?" Derek said coldly._

_“You two know each other?” Dr. Burke looked between the two, a confused expression on his face._

_“She’s my wife,” Derek muttered quietly._

_“Your wife, I didn’t know you-“_

_“Could you excuse us for a moment, Dr. Burke?” Burke nodded as he watched the two walk away. So that’s what Shepherd was hiding…_ **interesting** _, he thought to himself as he made his way back down the hall._

_“What are you doing here Addison?” Derek’s voice was hard; Addison shook her head and sighed heavily._

_"Iliana called and said Carson's gone missing," Derek’s eyes widened._

_"_ **Missing** _?"_

_"That's what I said,”_

_“What’s she even doing-“_

_“She wanted to come because she missed you, and those phone calls to your mother aren’t helping,” Addison snapped; oh, so she’d heard about the calls._

_“I wouldn’t have had to leave if you hadn’t-“_

_“Look, what I did is beside the point. Carson's gone missing in_ **your city** _. Now, are you going to stop hating me long enough to help me find our daughter or are you going to just stand there like a petulant child?"_

_Meanwhile, Alex Karev was heading back to the nurses’ station when he heard Derek and Addison talking about Carson; he paused and looked at them. Why would Shepherd be arguing with a woman about the kid he’d just been helping? In fact, as he stood and watched the two argue some more, he had questions, lots and lots of questions. Why was Shepherd so close with this woman, and why did she say 'our daughter' No, that would mean…no, there was just no way. But still, he had a sinking feeling that this kid’s father wasn’t in surgery, but rather her father was none other than Derek Shepherd. Alex sighed heavily as he tried to think where the kid could’ve run off to. It took him a moment, but he could’ve sworn he remembered seeing a flash of red hair enter Shepherd’s office._

_"Sorry to interrupt, but did you say you're looking for a kid named Carson?” Derek and Addison turn around at the sound of Alex’s voice._

_“Yes, how do you know her?” The woman looked at him with suspicion; she was eyeing his nametag._

_“Right; Alex Karev, surgical intern, Miranda Bailey’s my resident blah, blah, blah. Anywho, the kid you were looking for, is she about this tall red hair, looks just like her?” Alex pointed at Addison._

_"She’s my daughter Karev; have you seen her?" Derek asked, not missing the look of surprise on the young intern’s face._

_"Dude, she's in your office," Alex said simply before turning and walking away._

_oOoOo_

_Addison and Derek rushed to his office to find Carson fast asleep on the couch. Derek smiled at the sight of his daughter as did Addison._

_“I’ll wake her,” Derek carefully moved towards the couch and sat down. He’d missed her, so much, Ryan too. The thought of her being lost in Seattle was terrifying, but knowing that she was safe and sound in his office eased whatever fears he’d had._

_"Carson…Carson honey, wake up," Derek said softly as Carson fluttered her eyes open. She sat up slowly on the sofa, stretching her arms over her head. When she blinked and looked around, her heart leaped into her chest; her daddy was here!_

_"Daddy! I missed you!" she practically lunged into his arms, causing him to let out a soft laugh._

_“I missed you too buddy,” Though Carson’s eyes were trained on her mother, her mother who looked worried and furious all at the same time. Carson averted her gaze, pressing her face into her father’s shoulder. Derek glanced back at Addison; ah, she’d been caught. He wrapped his arms around her, shifting so that she now sat in his lap. He pressed a kiss to her hair, doing all he could to hold back his smirk._

_"She's pretty mad," he murmured._

_"Shh; let’s pretend she’s not here,” Carson spared a peek at her mother, hoping that she’d be gone; sadly, she wasn’t. She was still standing in the doorway of her father’s office, tapping her foot and shaking her head._

_“Maybe if I pretend to be asleep she won’t kill me,” Addison and Derek shared a look as Addison closed the door behind her._

_"Nice try Carson, but I_ **know** _you're not asleep," Addison said as moved to sit beside her daughter and her soon to be ex husband._

_“Uh, hi ,mom,” Carson shifted so that she was now facing her mother, who looked less than amused._

_"I'm in big trouble aren't I?" Carson asked as she looked up at both her parents._

_"Oh yeah,_ **big trouble** _," Addison and Derek said as the three of them sat on the couch._

_"So, while I’m so glad to see you, exactly_ **how did you get here** _?" Derek asked._

_"I remembered mom saying you worked at Seattle Grace, so_ **I may have** _…hailed a cab," Carson grimaced as both her parents looked at her in shock._

_"You hailed a cab?" Addison asked._

_"Yes…"_

_"Where'd you learn to do that?" Derek asked._

_"Uncle Mark," Carson muttered not bothering to look at either of her parents; she knew how they both felt about him._

_"I should've known…So you hailed a cab, but how'd you pay for it?" Addison asked, a perfect eyebrow arched because this is a story she’s_ **gotta** _hear._

_"I may have um,_ _**borrowed** _ _some money from Iliana,"_

_"You_ **borrowed** _some money? Is that what we're calling it these days_ **'borrowing' money** _?" Derek said with a smirk._

_"How much did you_ **steal** _?"Addison asked, unamused by her daughter’s antics._

_"50 dollars," Carson winced._

_“What do you think we should do Addie?” Derek glanced over at his wife; they needed to be a united front on this one, even if they couldn’t stand one another._

_“Well she’s definitely grounded,” Addison said._

_“Aw man!”_

_“She’s right; Carson, do you know what could’ve happened to you? You could’ve gotten hit by a cab, or worse,” Carson sighed heavily._

_“But I just wanted to see you!” There are tears in his daughter’s eyes and Derek hates it when she cries. He quickly pulled her into a hug, running a hand along her back._

_“I know buddy, and I missed you too; but you should’ve waited until tomorrow to come see me, not in the rain at midnight ,” Carson pulled back and sniffled._

_“You’re coming back home, right dad?” Derek and Addison share a glance; this was gonna be harder than they thought._

_“We’ll talk about that later; right now, lemme try and save you from the guillotine,”_

_“I heard that,” Addison said with a sigh._

_“I’m sorry mom,” Addison shook her head; she reached out and grabbed her daughter’s hand, stroking it gently._

_“I’m just glad you’re alright…but you’re still grounded,” Carson rolled her eyes._

_“I know, I know,”_

_“And, since you not only disobeyed me but you stole from your nanny, I’m thinking you can repay her,”_

_“Great, I’ve got money saved up in my-“_

_“Oh no, you’re not just gonna pay her, you’re gonna work it off, say…two weeks’ worth allowance?”_

_"_ **Two weeks** _!? But mom-"_

_"No buts,_ **you stole from your nanny and you ran away** _Carson and that is unacceptable,"_

_“Fine,” Carson sighed heavily. However, once Addison turned her head, Derek slipped Carson a 50 to give back to Iliana._

_"Don't tell your mother," He mouthed, causing Carson to grin. She was still grounded but working off that $50 seemed rather harsh._

_“Gotcha,” she mouthed back, slipping the 50 into her pocket….She worked off her 'debt' to Iliana; she used the 50 dollars Derek gave her to pay Iliana back and pocketed the 50 Addison gave her._

oOoOo

“That’s how she got here? Hm.” Cristina nodded her head slowly. She may not have liked the girl much, but knowing that she’d hailed a cab at ten to get to her father…that was impressive.

“That’s beside the point, Carson’s gone missing and she’s stolen my car. Derek said she just got her driver’s license a few months ago. It’s raining out and Derek was freaked out that she’d been driving in the rain earlier. If something happens to her…”

“Mere, maybe it’s time you call Derek, or maybe even Addison,” April said as everyone looked at her.

“ _Are you insane_!? Addison would _kill me_ , **Derek** would kill me!” Meredith shouted.

“Hey, it’s worth a shot and nobody knows that kid better than Addison. You’d better call Addison before Carson does, otherwise, you’re dead either way,” Alex reminded her.

Meredith sighed; she had to do something because there _was no way in hell_ that she could tell Derek that his daughter had somehow managed to run away while under her watch. However, before Meredith could make a move, the front door to her house swung open. Everyone’s eyes were trained on the door, hoping that it was Carson coming in. Instead, it was everyone’s worse nightmare; Derek was home and had tears in his eyes.

“Derek-“

“What the hell happened, Meredith?” Derek’s expression was anything but good, it was a look that sent chills down her spine.

“Derek…” Meredith began though he held up a hand to stop her.

“Where is she? Carson? Carson!” Derek pushed past her, bolting up the stairs in hopes to find his daughter safe and sound in her room. Instead, he came back downstairs absolutely furious.

“Derek, I can explain-“

“ _I trusted you to bring her home and keep her safe_ _and_ **this is what you do**?! You let her out of your sight and…” Meredith stood completely still, a sinking feeling in her gut as she timidly asked,

“Derek, I didn’t know she was gone!” Meredith shouted as he looked at her, slowly shaking his head. Something had happened, something bad had happened.

“Derek, what’s going on?” He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair before responding,

“Addison called; she started yelling and screaming at me about how I could be so irresponsible and let Carson drive in this kind of weather,”

“Derek-“

 “I didn’t know what she was talking about, and then she said Carson called her, _from your phone_ , crying. She told her what happened earlier…” Meredith tried to grab his hand but he pulled away as if he’d been burned.

“Derek-“

“Apparently when she called, Carson was on the road. Addison said she heard a car horn and a crash…Meredith, _where is she_? **What happened to my daughter**?” She had never seen him so shaken, so distraught, so upset before in her life.

“Derek, _I swear_ I brought them home and she went upstairs and slammed the door. She never came back down. It wasn’t until Ryan came downstairs and told me Carson wasn’t in her room that I’d realized she was gone and so were my keys and cell phone. I have looked, _we have looked_ **everywhere for her** , Derek-”

“If something happens to her, if she, if she…I need to find my daughter, I _need_ to find her,” Derek mumbled before heading back outside in the rain.

This was bad, this was very, very bad.

 

_To be Continued…_

 

 


End file.
